Phuket's BEST Burger & Boozy Beds: Big Boys' Patong Paradise!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because you want a review of "Big Boys' Patong Paradise" – Phuket's BEST Burger & Boozy Beds – and I'm about to give you the real, unfiltered, slightly-hangover-induced truth. Forget the perfectly-structured travel brochures. This is going to be… well, me.
Let's get this straight: I’m not a travel agent. I'm just a person who loves a good burger, appreciates a decent cocktail, and maybe – just maybe – needs a little R&R on a tropical island. So, here's the Big Boys’ breakdown, Phuket-style, with a side of my own personal Phuket-fueled chaos.
First Impressions & Accessibility (or, the Great Elevator Adventure)
Alright, so "Big Boys'"… it’s got a ring to it, right? The name alone sets a certain expectation. My first thought? "Please let the burgers live up to the hype." The entrance? Noticeable. I'd say, definitely accessible - but, the experience of getting to your room can be… interesting. My room was on, let's say, the third floor (they've got an elevator, which is HUGE – major points for Accessibility here!). Okay, the elevator. Sometimes it worked like a dream. Other times… let's just say I got to know the other guests very well while waiting. A small hiccup, but overall a solid foundation for Wheelchair accessibility, plus some good Daily housekeeping always made up for it.
Room Rumble: The Good, the Bad, and the "Wait, Where's That Dang Remote?"
The room itself? Pretty decent. The Air conditioning worked like a charm (THANK GOD!), the Free Wi-Fi was a lifesaver (more on that later), and the Blackout curtains were a blessing after a night of… well, let’s just say I saw the Patong nightlife up close and personal. I'm talking serious Soundproof rooms too – which you'll REALLY appreciate if you're like me and need some peace post-party. The Additional toilet was a godsend. And the In-room safe box was a nice touch, even if, on my first day, I spent a solid ten minutes trying to figure out how to open it (user error, obviously). Seriously, the Free bottled water was a lifesaver and I loved the Refrigerator which allowed for me to keep my beers cold.
Now, some quirks: the Bathroom phone? Utterly useless for international calls, which I desperately needed after a few too many Mai Tais. The Hair dryer was… functional, shall we say? Let's just say my hair looked like I'd wrestled a small hurricane. And, the Mirror was perfectly placed to catch every single post-burger regret.
The Internet Saga: Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi Everywhere (But Does It Work?)
Alright, the internet. The lifeblood of any modern traveler. "Big Boys'" scores big points with Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, but be warned. Sometimes, it was blazing fast. Other times… well, it was like trying to download a video on a dial-up modem. There's also Internet [LAN] options if you need them, and decent Internet services overall, but the Wi-Fi… it was an adventure. I needed to call my bank, I had to catch an important email, I needed to upload my Instagram story – it was a constant struggle. However, with the Wi-Fi in public areas, things got better, and the fact they thought of providing it is great.
Burger Bliss & Booze Bonanza: Dining, Drinking, and the Quest for the Perfect Patty
Okay, the main event. The burgers. Oh. My. God. The name is not a lie. This place delivers. I'm talking juicy patties, perfectly toasted buns, and all the fixings your heart desires. I had… (counts on fingers) …four burgers. Don't judge me. And the Happy Hour at the Poolside bar? Amazing! I can proudly say I made some amazing memories. Definitely the Pool with view to drink by too. Absolutely, the Snack bar was my friend during the day! I'm very happy they had the Bar. Overall, the Western cuisine in restaurant and the International cuisine in restaurant are very good. There's also a Vegetarian restaurant which is a plus.
The Restaurants offered great A la carte in restaurant and Buffet in restaurant. I was able to get a Breakfast [buffet] and a Breakfast service every day! I was happy! With the Coffee/tea in restaurant and the Bottle of water at my service, I survived every day of fun. The Desserts in restaurant were a great snack as well!
One small gripe: I wish there had been more options for quick food pickup. But that's just me being greedy.
Relax and Recharge: Spa, Sweat, and the Steamroom Showdown
Okay, so you want to relax, huh? "Big Boys'" has got you covered. They've got a Fitness center… I saw it. Looked pretty legit, though I spent more time at the bar than the gym. They also had a Spa, which was wonderful. I highly suggest the Massage. I went full-on tourist, and got a Body scrub and a Body wrap. The Sauna and Steamroom? I can't even begin to be more clear – GET IN THERE. You'll thank me later.
Now, here's a confession: I'm not a "spa person" per se. I'm more of a "beer and burger in the sun" type of person. But after a few days of Phuket mayhem, the spa was an absolute necessity. My skin felt like a baby's bottom, and I was so relaxed I almost fell asleep during the Foot bath. Almost.
For the Kids & Those Who Need Extra Help
I didn’t have access to any of the For the kids options. However, they have Babysitting service, Family/child friendly and Kids facilities.
Cleaning and Safety: The Sanitization Station
Okay, let's talk about the serious stuff. In a world where you're constantly touching surfaces, hygiene is key. "Big Boys'" did a pretty darn good job. Yes, Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Rooms sanitized between stays. I felt safe. There was also Hand sanitizer around, which is always a good sign. The Staff trained in safety protocol, which gave some peace of mind. The CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property provided a sense of security.
Bang for Your Buck: Services, Conveniences, and the Little Extras
They've got just about everything: Air conditioning in public area, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, and a Terrace. The Room service [24-hour] was clutch after a long night. They also provided Coffee/tea in restaurant, so I was able to get a nice drink on the go! You can also get a Breakfast in room if you want some alone time!
Getting Around & Other Bits and Bobs:
Airport transfer is offered, which is worth it to avoid the Patong taxi chaos. Car park [free of charge]. If you want to use the Taxi service, it's here, too.
Overall Vibe & Quirks:
"Big Boys'" isn’t a luxury resort. It's not a five-star experience. It's more like a really well-appointed, slightly-rambunctious, burger-slinging, booze-flowing basecamp for your Phuket adventures. It's a place where you can relax, have fun, and maybe – just maybe – overindulge a little.
The staff are friendly, though sometimes a little… laid-back. But honestly, that's part of the charm. You're in Thailand, after all! They are very good at Check-in/out [express] and Front desk [24-hour].
The Verdict: Should You Book?
Absolutely. If you are looking for a no-frills, fun-filled, burger-fueled experience in Patong, "Big Boys' Patong Paradise" is a solid choice. There's a great range of Things to do to enjoy! It's not perfect, but it's got heart, the burgers are legendary, and the boozy beds are very comfortable. Just be prepared for a few quirks, a little bit of chaos, and a whole lot of fun.
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Unveiling Oasis Vythiri: Wayanad's Hidden Paradise (Voye Homes)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause we're about to dive headfirst into the deliciously chaotic world of Big Boys' Bed & Burger in Patong Beach, Phuket. This ain't your sanitized, perfectly-planned itinerary, oh no. This is the real deal, the one where you might accidentally eat a whole plate of pad thai at 3 AM and regret nothing.
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Burger Crisis
14:00 (ish) - Touchdown in Phuket - or, "Oh God, I'm Actually Here!": Seriously, the humidity hits you like a warm, damp hug the second you step out of the air-conditioned airport. Instant regret for packing my heavy leather jacket, but hey, at least it'll be a conversation starter with the locals… maybe? The taxi driver's maniacal grin fuels the anticipation.
15:00 (ish) - Check-In & Mild Panic at Big Boys': The bright blue walls and slightly wonky door of the room? Charmingly ramshackle. The realization that I've accidentally booked a pool-view room and haven't packed a swimsuit? Classic me. The bed looks comfy. Time to unpack and try to figure out the TV.
16:00 - Reconnaissance Mission: The Burger Hunt: Okay, first things first: locate Big Boys' Bed & Burger. This is, after all, the entire reason I'm here. Google Maps said "five minutes," but I’m pretty sure I walked in circles for a good ten. The first glance at the menu, however, made me feel like I'd stumbled into paradise. Burgers, fries, shakes… it's all here. I decide on the classic Big Boy burger.
17:00 - The Burger… The Revelation: Okay. Holy. Freaking. Cow. This burger. It was a masterpiece. Juicy patty, perfect bun, melted cheese… I swear, I could hear the angels singing. I finished it in under five minutes. The only regret? Not ordering two.
18:00 - Beach Stroll & Sunset Staring: Patong beach is a sensory overload. The crashing waves, the hawkers, the smells of everything… I’m not usually a beach person, but the sunset over the Andaman Sea? Spectacular. Maybe I'd actually swim if I ever found a store open.
19:00 - Dinner #2 and the Pad Thai Plot: As I walk back to the hotel I can't resist a quick dinner at a local spot, the smell of Pad Thai and freshly squeezed mangos gets me again!
20:00 - Jet Lag Strikes: I'm exhausted and the humidity still clings to me like a second skin. I decide to call it a night.
21:00 - The Plot Thickens: I can't sleep and the humidity continues to bother me… I decide to try to change rooms and make sure they have a fan.
21:30 - The Quest Begins!: Success, I have a fan!
22:00 - Nightmares and Night Walks: I realize I'm hungry again, the craving for Pad Thai and Mango still lingers.
23:00 - Midnight Snack: I give in and take a midnight snack.
00:00 - Finally!: I finally drift off to sleep.
Day 2: Beach Day, Booze & Burger-ing
09:00 (ish) - Wake Up & Regret (Slightly): Okay, maybe that second beer at midnight wasn't the greatest idea. But hey, no regrets, right? Right?
10:00 - Beach Bummin' (Attempted): Okay, time to attempt a beach day. Sunscreen applied. Towel laid. Attempting to blend in with the locals, but mainly sticking out like a pale tourist. The waves are relentless.
12:00 - The Burger Pilgrimage - Take II: Fueling up for more beach time and the rest of the day, there's nothing more I can do to beat this burger!
13:00 - Pool Time (Finally!): The allure of the pool is too strong again and I decide to cool off.
14:00 - Beach Exploration & Fishy Business: Exploring the beach and finding a place to get some fishy food.
17:00 - Back To Big Boys & Burger Time - Round 3: I'm not the only one who's felt this way.
18:00 - Sunset drinks and a near disaster: Nearly falling in the pool, it was a close call.
20:00 - Early night or perhaps a late night?: I call it an early night but I have a feeling it'll be a late one.
Day 3: Exploring, Regrets & Maybe Another Burger?
10:00 (ish) - Wake Up & Decide to Try the Breakfast: I decide to give Big Boys' breakfast a try… and am utterly disappointed… but hey, the burger is still my friend!
11:00 - Scooter Adventures (Maybe): Phuket is known for its gorgeous temples and beaches, and I consider renting a scooter to go explore, but then remember I'm a terrible driver. Maybe later.
12:00 - Massage & Meltdown: Okay, the jet lag is real. Time for a traditional Thai massage. It was… intense. In a good way. My muscles feel like jelly, but my soul feels refreshed.
14:00 - The Return of the Burger… and Regret: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. But that delicious burger is calling again! I ordered one. I devoured it. I immediately regretted it. But, you know… still worth it.
16:00 - Night Market Wanderings: So, so many souvenirs. So. Many. Baht. I may or may not have bought a pair of elephant pants. Don't judge me. I haggled like a pro.
18:00 - The Burger Hangover: A terrible pain in my stomach, but I don't want to let go of the burger.
20:00 - Goodbye Big Boys, Hello Sleep: The hotel is great, but it's time to go. I hug the staff, and then hug the bed, this has been the best adventure.
Important Notes & Ramblings:
- Pace Yourself (or Don't): This is a suggestion, feel free to ignore it. Embrace the chaos.
- Food is Your Friend: Thai food is ridiculously good. Eat everything.
- Sunscreen is MANDATORY. Unless you want to look like a lobster.
- Embrace the Moments: Screw the perfect photo ops. The best memories are the messy ones.
- Big Boys' is Home: Seriously, though. The staff is wonderful. The burgers are legendary. Just go.
Big Boys' Patong Paradise: FAQ - Buckle Up, Buttercup! It's a Burger & Booze Bonanza!
Okay, Seriously, Is This Place *really* Any Good? Like, Beyond the Hype?
Alright, let's be brutally honest. I rolled up to Big Boys with the kind of low expectations forged in years of "best burger" hype. My brain was basically screaming, "Tourist trap! Tourist trap!" And... okay, maybe it is a little bit. Patong Beach, in general, is a bit of a sensory overload. But you know what? The burger? The burger single-handedly made me rethink my entire cynical attitude. I had the "Big Boy" burger, the classic. Juicy? Understatement of the year. Flavour? Explosive. Forget everything you think you know about burgers. This is the gold standard. And yes, I cried a little. Not from sadness, more like... pure, unadulterated burger bliss! Don't get me wrong, it's not a Michelin-star dining experience. It's loud, it's a bit messy, and you'll probably spill some sauce down your shirt. But it's DAMN good. Like, go-back-tomorrow-and-eat-another-one good.
What's the Deal with "Boozy Beds"? Are We Talking Actual Beds?! Do I Need to Book a Room?
So the "Boozy Beds" are essentially... well, they *look* like beds, but they're more like elevated lounge areas, mostly with cushions and comfy seating arrangements. They're perfect for nursing a hangover, enjoying the sunshine (if you can handle it, because sunscreen is your best friend here), or generally just chilling after you've devoured your burger. No, you don't *need* to book a room. They're part of the general atmosphere. They're great for groups and perfect for people watching. Some people love them, I've heard of some who thought that the sun was too strong on them. But hey, I thought it was pretty good!
Alright, Burger-Wise, Break it Down. What Should I Order? And Be Honest - Don't Sugarcoat It!
Okay, so here's the gospel according to me (and my post-burger-induced euphoria):
- The Big Boy: The workhorse. The classic. Get it. End of discussion. That's how the name came about.
- The Spicy One: I tried the hot one during my second visit, and it wasn't bad, but it wasn't earth-shattering, which is the standard that they made me think of.
- The "I-Don't-Know-What-I'm-Doing" Burger: Don't be that guy. Just pick something! They're burgers, people! It's hard to mess this up. (Okay, maybe the veggie burger… I didn't try that one).
Pro Tip: Don't be afraid to ask for extra napkins. You'll need them. Seriously. And be prepared to fight off the seagulls. They're sneaky little buggers.
The Drinks! Are they Any Good? And Is There Anything Beyond Beer?
Okay, so the drinks are... well, they're the kind you want when you're eating a big, messy burger in the Thai heat. Lots of cold beers (Singha, Chang – the usual suspects). They have cocktails too, but honestly, I was too busy inhaling my burger to pay much attention. But don't go expecting fancy mixology. It's the kind of place where a simple rum and coke hits the spot perfectly. It's all about the chill vibe and the overall experience, not necessarily the refined cocktail craft. Sometimes, that’s all you need.
What's the Vibe? Is it a Party Scene? Romantic Date Night? What Should I Expect?
The vibe is... Patong. Energetic. Loud. A little chaotic, but in a good way. It's definitely not a romantic candlelit dinner kind of place. Think more… casual, boisterous, and fun. You'll see groups of friends, couples, families, solo adventurers, all drawn by the siren call of the burger. The music can be a bit loud, but that's part of the charm. It's a place to relax, unwind, and indulge. Don't worry about being fancy. Just embrace the chaos and enjoy the good food and the great atmosphere. This is your fun spot.
The Service! How are the Staff? Are they Overwhelmed? Annoying?
Okay, the service… it's a mixed bag, to be honest. They're busy. REALLY busy. This place is popular! Sometimes getting attention can be a challenge, especially during peak hours. But overall, the staff are friendly and try their best. They're hustling to keep up with the crowds. I found them to be helpful and, even when rushed, always managed a smile. Just be patient and remember you're on island time! Sometimes you need to wave frantically to get someone's attention. It's all part of the experience.
Is it Worth the Trip? Seriously, Should I Bother?
A resounding YES! If you're in Patong and fancy a burger, Big Boys is an absolute MUST. Even if you're not a huge burger person (I wasn't!), the experience is worth it. The food is fantastic, the atmosphere is lively, and it's the perfect spot to unwind after a day on the beach. Just go. Trust me. You'll thank me later. And if you don't like it? Well, you're the problem, not the burger! (Kidding… maybe). It’s a Patong institution for a reason. Go!
Anything Else I Need to Know? Any Hidden Secrets?
Okay, a few bonus tips:
- Go Hungry: Seriously. Pace yourself. That burger is a beast.
- Sunscreen is Your Friend: Especially if you're planning on lounging on those Boozy Beds. The sun is unforgiving.
- Watch Out for the Birds: They're quick and they're hungry. Don't leave your food unattended.
- Embrace the Chaos:World Wide InnsBig Boys' Bed & Burger - Patong Beach Phuket Thailand
Big Boys' Bed & Burger - Patong Beach Phuket Thailand
