Escape to Paradise: PUNTAKANA Apartelle's Bohol Bliss Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: PUNTAKANA Apartelle's Bohol Bliss Awaits! – A Raw & Real Review (Plus, a Booking Plea!)
Okay, folks, buckle up. This isn't your average, sterile hotel review. We're going deep. We're talking about the gritty, the glorious, the slightly-too-hot-in-the-afternoon reality of PUNTAKANA Apartelle in Bohol. And frankly? I'm still processing it. But in a good way.
First, the Gist (and Why I'm Exhausted):
PUNTAKANA promises Bohol bliss. That's the tagline. And honestly? They mostly deliver. It's not a flawless, airbrushed paradise, but it's got character. And that, my friends, is what makes a trip memorable. Think stunning island views, a pool that practically begs you to dive in, and enough amenities to keep you occupied without feeling like you're being herded through a tourist trap. But it's also… a little rough around the edges. And that, in my book, is part of its charm. (Plus, I'm writing this mostly from memory, which is already a bit… hazy, thanks to those lovely sunsets).
The Stuff That Matters (and the Stuff That Made Me Swear… Quietly):
- Accessibility: Okay, let's be real. This ain't a fully accessible paradise. They do have an elevator, which is a win. But getting around the property in a wheelchair might require a bit of… creativity. The pathways aren't always the smoothest, and some areas might be a bit of a challenge. Sadly, this is a big minus. But for able-bodied folks? Relatively easy to navigate.
- On-site Grub & Libations (and My Stomach's Verdict):
- Restaurants: They've got 'em. One, maybe two? I think. I’m not sure, but It's the kind of place where you could definitely order the same thing twice and get something completely different. The Asian cuisine was decent. the international food wasn't bad, but wasn't amazing either.
- Bars: Poolside bar has a great view. The happy hour was legit… and necessary. Especially after a day of island hopping.
- Breakfast: Breakfast Buffet. Because, well, you need it. Good variety, though I did end up sneaking a croissant or two back to my room for a midnight snack. Don't judge. (Okay, maybe judge a little. I did feel a tiny pang of guilt). I did appreciate the vegetarian options, though.
- Room Service: 24 hours and that's great, but… sometimes, a little slow. Patience is a virtue in paradise!
- Relaxation Central (aka, Where I Almost Forgot My Troubles):
- Pool with a View: This is the money shot. The infinity pool overlooking the ocean. I spent a shameful amount of time there. It's just that good. Poolside bar, umbrella. Perfection - if you're ready to be perfectly, blissfully lazy.
- Massage: Ah, the massages. I went for a full body scrub, I was ready for total relaxation, and the masseuse (bless her heart) worked out knots I didn't even know I had. It was heavenly. Almost. The music was a little… repetitive. But hey, it was cheap and effective.
- Sauna/Spa: The spa area was a decent size, but felt a little dated. Still, a sauna always works wonders.
- Cleanliness and Safety (Because, You Know, Important Stuff):
- Cleanliness is A Must The rooms were clean, the staff definitely seemed to be following protocol, and the anti-viral cleaning products did their job. I didn’t get sick, and that's a huge win in my book.
- Sanitation protocol. The staff understood the new sanitation requirements, and this really impressed me a lot.
- First Aid Kit: Always a good sign!
- Hand Sanitizer: Everywhere!
- Cashless Payment: Very convenient.
- Internet & Tech Stuff (Because, You Know, Life):
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms?! YES! Excellent. I was able to stream. The LAN wasn't fantastic, so I stuck to Wi-Fi.
- Business Facilities: They have what you need. Meeting rooms, etc.
- The important stuff There was a projector, and internet access was not bad. I could make calls, so I was happy.
- Things to Do (Besides Lie in the Sun, Which I Strongly Recommend):
- Things to Do They provide info about the surrounding areas, and can help with your trip!
- Meetings & Seminars: Perfect for conferences!
- Audio-visual equipment for special events. They have it!
- Outdoor Venue for special events. This is perfect for a wedding!
- Rooms (My Cozy Hideaway):
- Cozy and Comfortable My room was, dare I say, charming. The bed was comfy, the air conditioning worked. (Crucially important. Seriously, Bohol gets HOT.) Blackout curtains were a lifesaver, especially after those late-night cocktails. And the free bottled water? A godsend.
- Bathroom The bathroom was clean, and I appreciated the included toiletries. The water pressure could be a little stronger, but I’m being picky.
- Coffee/tea maker I NEEDED this, and I was pleased to find it.
- Complimentary tea The tea was great.
- Extra Perks (and the little things that make a difference):
- Concierge Service: Pretty helpful!
- Doorman: ALWAYS a nice touch.
- Daily housekeeping: Very clean and organized.
- Gift/souvenir shop: I always need a souvenir!
- Laundry service: Amazing.
- Luggage storage: Helpful!
- Safety deposit box: Very reassuring.
- Smoking area: If you need to smoke.
- Terrace: The terrace was nice.
- Wi-Fi for special events: Very helpful.
- For the Kids (Because, You Know, Family Things):
- Babysitting service: They have it!
- Family/child friendly: Yes!
- Kids meal: They serve it.
The Imperfections (Because, Life Ain't Perfect):
Okay, now for the real talk. PUNTAKANA isn't flawless. The service, while generally friendly, wasn't always immediate. Sometimes I had to wait a bit for things. Sometimes I had to repeat my order. The soundproofing in my room wasn't perfect (there was a very enthusiastic karaoke session nearby one night). And the road getting there? Let's just say my car got a good workout.
But you know what? Those little imperfections? They're part of the experience. They make it real. They make it… human.
The Anecdote That Sums it Up:
One afternoon, after a particularly epic swim in the pool, I wandered down to the bar for a smoothie. I was still dripping wet, sunburnt, and generally a mess. The bartender, looked at me, smiled, and said, "You look like you're having a good time." And you know what? I was. That sums up PUNTAKANA in a nutshell. It's not about pristine perfection. It's about embracing the chaos, enjoying the small moments, and letting yourself be utterly, completely, blissfully… in Bohol.
(And Now, the Plea for You to Book, Because I Want to Go Back!):
Look, I'm not going to lie. I had a ball at PUNTAKANA. And yes, I'm already plotting my return. So, if you're looking for a hotel that's:
- Beautiful (Seriously, that pool!)
- Relaxing (Massages, sunshine, endless cocktails…)
- Authentic (No cookie-cutter resort here, folks!)
- Comfortable (Especially the beds. Oh, the beds!)
- A little rough around the edges (in the best possible way)
Then BOOK IT NOW! Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Take the plunge.
Here's the Deal: Book your stay at PUNTAKANA Apartelle. Trust me. You won't regret it. It's not just a vacation. It's an escape. And right now, after the year we've all had, don't we all deserve to escape?
Escape to Paradise: Jacaranda Indian Ocean Beach Resort, Mombasa
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly polished travel itinerary. We're going to the Puntakana Apartelle in Bohol, Philippines, and things are about to get gloriously messy. Warning: contains excessive rambling, questionable decisions, and likely, a profound sunburn.
Puntakana Apartelle Bohol: The "I'm-Pretty-Sure-I-Forgot-Something" Itinerary
Day 1: The Arrival & The "Oh My God, It's Hot" Realization
- 6:00 AM: Alarm. Actually, the real alarm? The rooster next door that thinks dawn starts at 5:30. Ugh. Coffee. LOTS of coffee. Praying the flight isn't delayed because, let's face it, I’m already running on fumes.
- 7:00 AM: Chaotic airport dash. Did I pack my passport? (Checks frantically, nearly hyperventilates). Yes. Did I remember sunscreen? (Panic again. Nope, but hopefully, I can buy some on the plane… or just… embrace the lobster life later.)
- 10:00 AM (ish): Plane ride. Squeezing my way into the middle seat between a guy who's definitely planning to snore for the entire five hours and a woman who’s already reeking of duty-free perfume. I'm pretty sure I'm in purgatory.
- 1:00 PM (ish): Touchdown! Tagbilaran Airport. Finally! That sweet, sweet Philippine air. Now, I'm slightly afraid that I will melt. Did I mention it's hot? Like, face-melting, can't-breathe-without-sweating hot.
- 2:00 PM: Taxi to Puntakana Apartelle. The driver, bless his heart, seems to think he's in a Formula 1 race. The scenery flashes by – lush, green, and vaguely blurry. I catch glimpses of water buffalo, and I'm immediately obsessed. Must. Photograph. Water. Buffalo.
- 3:00 PM: Check-in at Puntakana Apartelle. The staff is incredibly friendly. (Important. Smiles are key when you're this disheveled.) The room is… clean. Simple. Air-conditioned. I'm deeply relieved. I basically throw my bags on the floor and collapse on the bed. Time to start rehydrating.
- 4:00 PM: Exploration around the resort, and quickly realize I don't know how to swim. This is not ideal in a tropical paradise. Heavy sigh. I check the little plunge pool anyway, it’s adorable. Start taking pictures and feeling like a local-level influencer.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the resort restaurant. Craving a proper Filipino meal. Adobo, here I come! The adobo is AMAZING, and I immediately order a second plate. Note to self: pace yourself. (Fat chance.)
- 8:00 PM: Staring at the stars, sipping a San Miguel. Utter bliss. (Except for the mosquito that keeps buzzing around my ear. Rude.) I’m actually kind of… happy. Even though I'm pretty sure I forgot my electric toothbrush.
Day 2: Chocolate Hills, Tarsiers and the "Did I Really Just Do That?" Moment
- 7:00 AM: Wake up before the alarm. Yay! Already feel the sun on my skin, I swear it's getting darker.
- 8:00 AM: Organized a tour to the Chocolate Hills. This is probably the most "touristy" thing I have planned, but how on earth could I miss the Chocolate Hills?!
- 9:00 AM: The Chocolate Hills. They are, in fact, chocolate-colored. And they're surreal. Like, you're on another planet surreal. I attempt a panoramic photo but fail miserably. The sheer scale is awe-inspiring. I swear I will find the right angle eventually.
- 11:00 AM: Tarsier Sanctuary. Oh. My. God. The tiny, wide-eyed tarsiers. They're so unbelievably cute that it’s almost overwhelming. I watch them for an hour, utterly transfixed. Trying not to scream in delight. These little guys are the size of my hand! and I feel like I’m intruding on their naptime.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch in a local restaurant. We went off the beaten path which was terrifying in hindsight because, let’s be real, the only thing I knew how to order was "chicken." (My Tagalog is basically non-existent so I just point at the menu and pray. The food, when it arrives, is delicious.)
- 3:00 PM: A visit to a butterfly garden. The butterflies are pretty, but honestly, the heat is getting to me. I start feeling this weird combination of exhausted and overstimulated. Thinking twice about the butterfly garden.
- 5:00 PM: Back to the Apartelle, and I think about how to swim. I decide to get in the plunge pool anyway… and then I decide to get out again because this is the last time I feel this much heat. Dinner and a quick shower, I'm done for the night.
- 8:00 PM: I'm ready, and excited to go to a bar. I'm pretty sure I should start my own travel vlog: "How to avoid sunburn and not drink too much tequila."
Day 3: Beaches, Boats, and the "I Miss Air Conditioning" Blues
- 9:00 AM: Beach Day! (Trying to embrace the "island life" vibe but still secretly mourning the electric toothbrush.) Head to Alona Beach - I feel like it's going to be more enjoyable than I thought, and let’s be real, the photos I saw are gorgeous.
- 10:00 AM: Alona Beach. The water is unbelievably clear. The sand is white. I'm surrounded by happy people. And, yup, the sun is brutal. I slather on more sunscreen, but I can feel the burn creeping in.
- 12:00 PM: Island hopping tour (that I kind of-sort of-forgot to pack for.) The boat trip is fun. Though, the ocean is choppy. Now I’m a little seasick and regretting that second plate of adobo.
- 1:00 PM: Snorkeling. (Okay, I chickened out. I'm a scaredy-cat. I didn't trust my gear, there was a lot of sea life, and the idea of an open ocean was terrifying and a bit exciting.)
- 3:00 PM: Fresh coconut juice. Pure. Bliss. (Also, I'm starting to feel like a sun-baked tomato.) I try to find the best spot for a picture like a true tourist.
- 5:00 PM: Heading back. I’m exhausted, sunburnt, and I'm pretty sure I've inhaled half the ocean. But, also, in a weird, slightly delirious way, I feel alive.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Trying not to think about the fact that I'm leaving this paradise tomorrow.
- 8:00 PM: I'm going to enjoy the rest of the night.
Day 4: Departure & The "I Need a Vacation From My Vacation" Epilogue
- 7:00 AM: Last sunrise over Bohol.
- 8:00 AM: Packing. Half my clothes are probably still damp from yesterday. A quick look at the room to try to remember what I missed.
- 9:00 AM: Saying goodbye to Puntakuna Apartelle. Feeling a twinge of sadness, mixed with a huge dose of relief at the prospect of air conditioning and being able to sleep in a dark room.
- 10:00 AM: Airport. More chaos. More last-minute souvenir shopping.
- 1:00 PM: Flight home. Already planning my return. (and vowing to remember the electric toothbrush next time.)
- Later: Home. Realizing that I'm covered in mosquito bites, slightly lobster-like, deeply happy, and utterly, completely, irrevocably in love with Bohol. And already starting to dream of the next adventure.
So, there you have it. An itinerary that’s less a rigid guide and more a collection of messy memories, sunburn, and a whole lot of adobo. Did I miss things? Absolutely. Did I screw things up? Probably. Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something to eat. And maybe, just maybe, start planning my next trip to the Philippines.
Saigon's Most Luxurious Apartment: Leman's Unrivaled City Center Living
So, uh... Is Puntakana REALLY "Escape to Paradise"? Sounds a bit...much, no?
Okay, fine. Let's be honest. "Escape to Paradise" is a *bold* claim. I went in with the cynicism levels of a seasoned travel writer who's seen it all. And...look, it's not like you're teleporting to some undiscovered island of unicorn farts and bottomless margaritas. But... hear me out. Walking out of the *very* clean, air-conditioned lobby after a long, miserable flight? The gentle breeze, the *unbelievably* blue sea, the friendly staff who actually SMILE? Yeah, there's a definite "ahhhh" factor. Is it a *perfect* paradise? Probably not. Is it a fantastic place to unwind and forget you spent the last six months chained to a spreadsheet? Absolutely. Plus, there's this one tiny little detail...
What about the rooms? Are they... clean? (Asking the important questions here...)
CLEAN. OMG, yes. Like, hospital-grade clean. And I’m not a germaphobe by any stretch, but there’s something incredibly comforting about a room that feels *truly* fresh. They also have this... I swear, *magic* air conditioning. You know, the kind that doesn’t just blow cold air directly ON your face but actually makes the WHOLE room feel… perfectly chilled, even the bathroom. Ah, the bathroom! Seriously, the shower pressure alone is worth the price of admission. I took *multiple* showers a day, just because I could. My skin has never felt so happy!
Okay, fine, the rooms sound good. What's the *real* catch? There's always a catch, right? Like, the internet is painfully slow? or the food is terrible?
Okay, yes, there are *minor* catches. The internet, while present, is not exactly high-speed. Think: suitable for checking emails and maybe, just maybe, streaming that *one* very important cat video. Don't expect to upload your entire holiday on Instagram in two seconds flat. It's more of a gentle trickle of connectivity. And the food...Alright, let's get into it. The on-site restaurant? It's decent. It's *convenient*. But if you're foodie and expect Michelin-star level cuisine? You'll be disappointed. However, their *breakfast* is incredible. Those pancakes... buttery, fluffy, exactly what you want to eat on a perfect morning.
You mentioned the food... let's talk more about that pancake situation. And the rest of the menu. Because I'm a hungry traveller.
Alright, fine, let's *devote* an entire section to the food, because honestly, it's the most crucial thing to consider when pick a hotel. The pancakes. They're the star. Fluffy clouds of deliciousness. Get. Them. Seriously. I *dream* about them now. I added extra syrup. I added more of those *unnecessary* but tasty bits of butter. Beyond breakfast, the menu is a mix of local dishes and Western staples. The *Lechon Kawali*, the pork belly? Crispy perfection. I'm not even a big pork person, and I *devoured* it. But then you get the menu choices. The pasta? Kinda okay. The pizza? A little...bland. It's solid, perfectly edible, there are just *so many* other AMAZING places to eat around Panglao Island. So my advice? Eat the breakfast, eat the pork. Don't be afraid to venture out.
Speaking of venturing out... what's the location like? Is it easy to get around?
The location is *fantastic*. You're very close to Alona Beach, which is the main hub of activity (bars, restaurants, dive shops... you name it). A quick tricycle ride (and they're *everywhere*), or even a leisurely walk if you're feeling energetic. But the *best* thing? You're far *enough* from the craziness of Alona. So you have peace and quiet when you want it. It's a perfect balance. I really, REALLY appreciated that after a long day of trying to not accidentally walk into a bar called "Tiki Torches & Terrible Karaoke."
Okay, enough about the practical stuff, are there any *adventures* to be had? Activities? What did you *actually* do?
Oh, absolutely. Bohol is bursting with things to do. There's the Chocolate Hills (which are, admittedly, a bit underwhelming in the dry season, but still cool). The tarsiers (the tiny primates, which are absolutely adorable but, please, be respectful and don’t flash the camera). The snorkeling and diving are supposed to be amazing, but I’m a bit of a chicken when it comes to the deep blue. I spent the majority of my time lounging by the pool, reading books and feeling gloriously, absolutely lazy. And you know what? I don't regret a single second. Sometimes, the greatest adventure is doing absolutely nothing.
The Pool. Is it as good as it looks in the pictures? Because the pictures are usually lying.
Okay, here's the truth. The pool? It's *fantastic*. The pictures don't lie on this one. It's the perfect temperature, clean, and never felt overcrowded, even when there were a few other people. I'm a big pool person, I cannot stress this enough. Floating in that perfect, clear water, with the sun beating down, that’s basically my happy place. Honestly, I spent half my holiday just in the pool. Maybe more. Possibly most of the day. Who's counting? The staff also served the most *delicious* cocktails to the sun loungers. Highly recommended. Seriously, the pool alone is almost worth the price of admission.
What's the staff like? Always a deal-breaker for me. Are they friendly? Annoying? Overly helpful?
The staff are SO friendly. Seriously, genuine smiles everywhere. They're helpful without being *intrusive*. They remember your name, but they're not constantly hovering. They seem genuinely happy to be there, which makes a HUGE difference. It's refreshing. I even witnessed a small minor drama with an angry guest. And the staff handled it with grace and patience. Bravo, Puntakana staff!
